Happiness and Unhappiness During the Life Span
Life satisfaction, usually referred to as “happiness,” comes from the fulfilment of a need or wish and, as such, is the cause or means of enjoyment. As Alston and Dudley have explained, “Life satisfaction is the ability to enjoy one’s experiences, accompanied by a degree of excitement”.
According to the definitions of happiness given in any standard dictionary, it is a state of well-being and contentment – a pleasurable satisfaction that comes when the individual’s needs and wishes are fulfilled. It is not the same as euphoria, which implies not only a state of satisfaction but also a buoyancy that is not present in life satisfaction or happiness as it is not only popularly defined but also used by many psychologists. Because happiness is a synonym for life satisfaction and because it is far more widely used than life satisfaction, it will be used throughout this text to imply satisfaction resulting from the fulfilment of needs and wishes.
Because happiness and unhappiness or life satisfactions and dissatisfactions are subjective states, information about them must, of necessity, come from introspections or retrospections or from answers to questionnaires. This is because only the persons involved can say whether they are happy or unhappy or whether they are satisfied or dissatisfied with their lives.
Introspective and retrospective reports, as all psychologists are well aware, are not always accurate. Retrospective reports are especially subject to error because people tend to forget, or to minimize, especially in retrospect, the unhappiness they experienced in some periods of their lives and to exaggerate the unhappiness or the happiness at other periods. In filling out a questionnaire, there is a tendency to give an answer that will put the subject in a favourable light, regardless of the accuracy of the answer.
Because of the many difficulties involved in making long-term longitudinal studies, as was previously pointed out, most studies of happiness and life satisfaction have been made through the use of the cross-sectional approach. The few that have used the longitudinal approach have covered only relatively short periods of the life span, mainly the years of early adulthood and of old age.
Significant Facts about Happiness
Inadequate as are the methods available to date to study happiness, they do give clues to what contributes to the individual’s life satisfactions. They also indicate what leads to happiness or unhappiness, not only for different people but also within the same person at different age levels, and what are most likely to be the happy and the unhappy periods in the life span. The results of these studies are summarized below.
Essentials of Happiness There are essentials to happiness, or the state of well-being, contentment, and satisfaction. They are acceptance, affection, and achievement, often called the “three A’s of happiness.” As Shaver and Freedman have pointed out, “Happiness is more a matter of how you regard your circumstances than of what the circumstances are … It comes from tending one’s own garden instead of coveting one’s neighbor”.
Acceptance by others is affected by self-acceptance which comes from good personal as well as social adjustments. Shaver and Freedman have further commented, “Happiness has a lot to do with accepting and enjoying what one is and what one has, maintaining a balance between expectations and achievements”.
One important contributor to acceptance by others is physical attractiveness. It also affects self-acceptance, achievements, and the affection a person receives from others. Mathes and Kahn have explained:
In social exchange physical attractiveness is a positive input and can be used to obtain a variety of good outcomes for the possessor. One of the most frequently obtained outcomes is liking. Attractive people are liked most as friends, dates, sex partners and spouses. Attractive people receive more positive evaluations from others and empathy than unattractive people. Other good outcomes obtained by attractive people include more work from subordinates, greater attitude agreement, better grades, and higher-status spouses. As a result of the many good outcomes obtained by attractive people, it seems likely that they are happier and better adjusted than unattractive people. It is also probable that the liking received from others is reflected in a higher self-esteem.
Affection is a normal accompaniment of acceptance by others. The better accepted people are, the more they can count on the affection of others. That affection is essential to good personal adjustments has been shown in the many studies of emotional deprivation and the devastating effects it has on the individual. These effects, unfortunately, do not always end with childhood. Instead, they are often persistent. As Horn has said, “Someone who experiences a shortage of love in childhood is unhappy then and also develops values that perpetuate unhappiness in later life”.
The third A of happiness, achievement, relates to reaching a goal one sets for oneself. If this goal is unrealistically high, the result will be failure and the individual will then be dissatisfied and, consequently, unhappy. Then, too, objective success does not necessarily mean subjective success or that the individual who appears to be successful is so. Hard work, competence, and personal sacrifice may achieve money and power, but an executive, with many status symbols, is not necessarily a happy person. Success often reduces chances for individuality and satisfaction of personal needs and desires. Furthermore, an executive may be admired and respected but not loved and may even be feared. Achievement without affection will lead to self-dissatisfaction, and this, in turn, will color the individual’s outlook on life.
Relative Happiness It is doubtful that such a state as 100 percent happiness or satisfaction or 100 percent unhappiness or dissatisfaction exists. Happiness and satisfaction are relative. At every age level, and at all times during each age level, there are times of happiness and satisfaction and times of unhappiness and dissatisfaction.
If pleasant experiences outweigh the unpleasant, individuals will be satisfied and regard themselves as happy; if unpleasant experiences outweigh the pleasant, they will be dissatisfied and consider themselves unhappy.
Happiness Varies at Different Times in the Life Span Retrospections covering the whole life span or large segments of it reveal the degree of happiness at different ages. Many adults remember puberty and early adolescence as so unhappy that they claim they would not want to return to childhood even if they could. In a study reported by Meltzer and Ludwig, even the adult years were found to vary in degree of happiness, with the subjects describing the years before middle age as happier than those after middle age.
Happiness at One Age Does Not Guarantee Happiness at Other Ages. There is no evidence that once happy always happy, or that once unhappy always unhappy. Happiness and satisfaction at one age may be followed by unhappiness and frustration at the next stage of development and vice versa.
Whether happiness or unhappiness will persist depends to a large extend on how successfully individuals adjust to the new roles and social expectations of each phase in the life span and how their environments enable them to satisfy their needs and desires, especially those for acceptance, affection, and achievement. It is not unusual for a happy child to become a frustrated and unhappy adult or for an unhappy child to develop into a satisfied and relatively happy adult.
At Every Age There Are Sex Differences in Happiness During childhood and adolescence, girls as a group tend to be happier than boys. One of the most important reasons for this is that girls get their greatest satisfaction from interpersonal relationships while boys’ greatest satisfaction comes from achievement.
During the early years of adulthood, women tend to be happier than men, especially if they are married and feel useful as mothers and wives. Young men, by contrast, tend to be less happy because they are often not able to achieve the success in their occupations that they had hoped for. After forty, the reverse is true for many women, especially those whose role has been that of homemaker. By contrast, many men become happier and better satisfied with their lives after forty because they feel more successful in their careers than they were when they were younger. Then there is a shift in life satisfactions after sixty or sixty-five. Men rebel against feeling useless while many women feel more useful, either in taking care of retired or ailing husbands or helping with the care of grandchildren.
At Every Age There Are Obstacles to Happiness Some obstacles to happiness are subjective and some are environmental. Poor health, mental limitations, and unrealistic aspirations are the most common subjective obstacles. It is difficult for people of any age to be satisfied with their lives if they feel they are failures, even if others regard them as successful. Likewise, it is difficult for people to be satisfied with the pattern of their lives if poor health prevents them from doing what they want to do or what their peers are doing.
There may also be environmental obstacles to life satisfactions at any age. For example, children who grow up in a neighbourhood where they are discriminated against because of race, religion, socio-economic status, or any other reason will lack social acceptance, affection from peers, and opportunities to achieve successes in peer-prized activities. Their unhappiness may affect their performance in school and thus jeopardize their chances for success in later life.
