The success of marriage is reflected in a number of interpersonal relationships and behaviour patterns. While these may vary, to some extent, for different people and for marriages at different ages, they can, for the most part, be used to assess the adjustment of any marriage. The most important of these criteria are given and explained below.
Criteria of Successful Marital Adjustment
Happiness of Husband and Wife
A husband and wife who are happy together derive satisfaction from the roles they play. They also have a mature and stable love for each other, have made good sexual adjustments, and have accepted the parental role.
Good Parent-Child Relationships
Good parent-child relationships reflect successful marital adjustment and contribute to it. If parent-child relationships are poor, the home climate will be marked by friction, which makes marital adjustment difficult.
Good Adjustment of Children
Children who are well adjusted, well liked by their peers, and successful and happy in school are proof of their parents’ good adjustment to marriage and parental roles.
Ability to Deal Satisfactory with Disagreements
Disagreements between family members, which are inevitable, generally end in one of three ways: There is a temporary truce with no solution, one person gives in for the sake of peace, or all family members try to understand the others’ point of view. In the long run, only the latter leads to satisfactory adjustments though the first two help to reduce the tension that friction gives rise to.
“Togetherness”
When marital adjustments are successful, the family enjoys spending time together. If good family relationships are built up during the early, formative years, men and women will retain close ties with their families after they grow up, marry and establish homes of their own.
Good Financial Adjustments
In many families, one of the most common sources of friction and resentment centers around money. Regardless of the income, a family that learns to budget its expenses so as to avoid constant debts and to be satisfied with what it can afford to have and do is better adjusted than one in which the wife constantly complains about the husband’s earning power or takes a job to supplement his earnings.
Husbands and wives who get along well in their in-laws, especially parents-, brothers- and sisters-in-law, are far less likely to have frictional relationships.
